To my sisters: I hear you.
[Edit: Since this post was written, the S.A.N.I.T.Y. program morphed partly into Declutter Your Daytimer and partly into my membership site for women 40+. I’ve left this post up because the content is still relevant!]
Over the past 2 months as I was creating my new program offering—S.A.N.I.T.Y.—I was riding the pendulum that so often grips us when we are about to put ourselves out there in a way that feels really vulnerable.
Will the launch be a success? Will people sign up? Will they laugh? Will I be judged?
They’ll love it. They’ll hate it. I think it’s great. I think it sucks. Acckkk!
And then someone sent me this:
It’s a lighthearted commentary on some pretty heavy topics, and it made me revisit my post on [Not so] secret sisterhoods, in which I talk about how sometimes admitting we feel or think a certain way doesn’t invite derision but leads instead to immediate understanding and a sort of bond or kinship: I hear you, I feel you, I’m in the same place.
Sometimes our reality is not reality at all—something anyone with teenagers can attest to—and sometimes a struggle we think is unique to us turns out to be shared by a lot of people. We are walking around thinking about each other if only because we are the same inside!
So what’s so scary about putting a new program out there?
Well, this one is designed to serve women who are going through a stage of life around which there is quite a bit of stigma, one that I’ve been navigating myself for close to a decade.
Who are these women? As I thought about them, I came up with this description:
- They’re under-appreciated, under-listened to, under-taken-care-of, overworked, over-scheduled, and—frankly—OVER. IT. ALL. working wives and mothers (and yes, that definitely and especially includes women whose job title is Stay-at-Home-Mom).
- They can’t seem to remember how much they love their families because right now, they’re overwhelmed by how much they currently annoy the crap out of them.
- EVERYTHING is a hassle or aggravation (get up, get people out the door with the right lunchbox and all the homework, get to work, home, carpool, errands, rinse, repeat), and they can’t even remember what it feels like to be happy or even just sane.
- Their body is throwing them one curve ball after another, none of the diets or workout regimens help, their sanity is dying a slow, painful death, and everything they handled just fine up until now is suddenly COMPLETELY and totally way too much to contemplate, much less handle.
- They find themselves pulled over by the side of the road having a panic attack because they just don’t want their lives any more and they know they really shouldn’t be wondering what would happen if they just kept driving down the road.
How do I know them? Well, because 10 years ago, that was me—pulled over on the shoulder of the 110 in Southern California (seriously?!? what was I thinking???) and wondering whether maybe, just maybe I ought to check myself in somewhere….
How do I know that’s not just me, though?
I know the experience is not unique to me because when I have ventured to share this list with other women, their eyes light up—or, more often, tear up—and they exclaim, “Oh, I hear you, sister!”
And it’s telling that when I share this list with men, more often than not, I get a completely blank look.
PLEASE NOTE: I’m not slamming you guys here—I’m actually giving you a huge gift: the opportunity to go home and ask your significant other, “How are you? How do you feel you are handling everything in your life right now?”
If she falls apart, congratulations—you have clearly touched on something the two of you should talk about! (And it’s your chance to say, “I want to help you feel better about it…and I know someone who can help you!”)
WARNING: If she says, “Fine,” you’re in trouble. Tread lightly. Really. FINE stands for “feelings internalized, not expressed,” and you ignore that little word at your peril. (Your chance to say, “Well, if you say so, but if you ever feel like it’s all too much, I know someone who can help you!”)
But back to my sisters: “the dark days” are (mostly) behind me now—I love my crazy life!
And I have some tools, tips, and tricks in my S.A.N.I.T.Y. program that can help you get through yours a lot faster.
So if you feel like the walls are closing in on you and you can’t see a way out that doesn’t require a wad of cash, a plane ticket, and a change of identity, but you know that opting out of your obligations is not an option, let’s talk.
Schedule a free initial conversation by visiting my booking page, selecting YOURstory and choosing a date and time that work for you.